Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What a fucking waste of an outfit
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
