i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
