She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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