my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
