Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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