Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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