Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
