we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
