i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
