He uses pillows to masturbate.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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