She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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