Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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