Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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