i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.