Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.