if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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