U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
