i would punch a child for taco bell
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my being single is dangerous.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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