I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
