Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
