You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
