their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
