how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
