There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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