If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
