Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
