is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
