I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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