stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I need a beard to bite.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
