Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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