So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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