i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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