Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize