the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
