hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
