i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
