I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
