whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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