She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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