If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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