but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
