Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
