he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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