My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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