I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
