it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
