How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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