One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
