Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
