great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Randomize
