Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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