You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Come back. Shots need mouths.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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