Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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