according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That accounts for only three of the penises
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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