Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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