please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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