hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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