Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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