Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
