I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
