I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
