belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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